Desperation
by Raigon
Summary: What if the events at the end of Thriller Bark had play out differently, and a member of the Straw Hats had actually been lost. This is a what if fic?
1. Chapter 1

**DESPERATION**

( This is a really long one-shot ...that has the potential to become something more. Though, unless, I get the reviews for it, I will leave it here.)

_How long does it take for everything to go wrong?_  
_ The answer for us was simple._

_30 seconds._

_How long does it take to make everything right?_  
_ Sometimes, the answer is never._

The explosion ...sent everyone flying ...but no one was seriously hurt. I wonder if ...they every wonder why? How everyone managed to survive, even though the blast was at point blank range? I guess after everything was over ...only I am stuck in this limbo of wondering what could be ...what happen, and why? Was it all a trap to begin with? Was my dream doom from the beginning?

My mind is wandering again. I have to focus ...I don't want to loop again.

It is too painful ...I don't think I can survive it if I go through this again.

This will be the last time ...I remember this. I promise myself, and then I will let everything go. My beginning, my middle, and my end ...I will let go of my regret, and finally find peace.

We all were hurt, before, but it was worst after that. I landed badly, and I found myself unable to move. A piece of rubble had me squash flat, and already weaken ...I couldn't get free. I was unable to left a single hand ... as he went for our Captain, and all I could do was look and tremble. I hated myself for that moment ...that weakness, especially when he was able to stand up ...when he was able to move, and when he stopped him. A quick slash across the shoulder, that is our Zoro, a man who pledged to be the greatest swordman in the world. The one nakama of the Strawhat pirates that I knew could injury the paw man , and who I did not have to fear would die on the field of battle. We still had hope. The man was finally wounded ...much more than what I could do. For once, I realize I had lost to him, but, that didn't stop Zoro from losing to him.

The Paw-man, he was fresh and we were already beaten and tired. It is an excuse I told myself so many times before. It is one I want to believe now, that he wouldn't have fallen against him if we had been fresh, that he wouldn't have stood a chance against us ...if we weren't already wounded. But, as clear as that laser beam that melted stone, and cut across the space between the two ...after the slash, I knew it's false. Even at full strength, we couldn't have won. He was a Cyborg beyond Franky, and his powers were beyond our ability to deal with. We would have been crushed, Luffy and all, and this, he would figure out first, Zoro.

There was no hope.

He couldn't win against him, and thus, he would surrender. A man that didn't give up when Mihawk cut a deep scar across his chest, that refused to turn his back to any enemy when death was on him,...surrendered. He could do no more, his body ...could take no more.

It is when I think of that ...that I flash back to happier times. To all of us upon the Merry Go, to the fights, the adventures, and the laughter. It's the laughter I miss the most, the feeling of home and friends ...and all of that will be beyond our hope of gaining again if I let them kill him.

I am not sure how I did it, how I managed to get free. But, I twisted and pulled and pushed and finally managed to get free ...it was then ...as I heard him offer his life that I knew ...I had to stop him. I couldn't let his dream die, his hope, and his journey. I have seen a sacrifice before, and I would forever regret it. I didn't want to have any more regrets. So, I climb to my feet, everything hurt, everything shook, but I held it together ..barely. I almost went over once ...even when I made my way to them, crossing one leg over the other was the only thing that saved me from ending up on my face. I knew, if I went over ...I wouldn't be able to get back up again.

I made it ...barely in time, but I did it.

"Hold on a minute, you jerk."

"What are you going to do if you die...!"

"What happens to your dream...you idiot?"

It was rage that fueled me then. That gave me the burst of energy necessary to make me seem strong, and maybe, in that instant, he hoped that I was ...stronger. That I was able to do what he couldn't, but, I wasn't. I knew I wasn't, and thus, I stood at his side. Together we can take down anyone, except this paw-man, and I couldn't suppress the trembles. The injuries were too great to hide them, but oh how I wish I could. I had to make up for my quickly disappearing strength with words.

"Just ignore this Marimo Swordsman ...if you must kill someone...then just take my life!"

I said the words with determination and exhaustion, but I managed to say it without stuttering. I was pushing myself ...but I would not let him die. He was my friend, my nakama, and how could I explain it to everyone ...that I watch him die. How could I live with myself if I allowed that to happen, and maybe, it was those exact thoughts that gave me that last bit of energy. That let me bare with the pain a bit longer as I spun, and with him down on his knees as he was the surprise was there and so was the angle. I caught him ...right between chest and stomach, in the area where the wind would be driven from one's lungs all at once. Where the force of the blow would for a few seconds ...stop one from breathing long enough ...for unconsciousness to take place.

He wasn't expecting it, nor was he ready to guard.

I felt his hand ...as he touches the leg that had caught him. Gripping it hard, and looking me in the eyes. He's struggling to stay conscious ...that was Zoro ...never one to quit even when he should.

"Dumbass cook ...why?"

"Shitty Swordman, my dream is just a myth, but yours...yours you can make real. But only if you live."

He would pass out then as if my answer was enough. Laying to one side ...my rival, my friend, I would leave him behind.

I miss him that stupid ...shitty Marimo swordman.

The swordman of the our crew, his bounty originally was higher than luffy's, and he was always in the forefront of battles. The man that had a reputation as a pirate hunter, but gave it all up to join this crew. I think ...even without us, without luffy he would have managed to achieve his goal. Unlike me, unlike the rest of us, with the exception of Robin ...he was working for that goal when Luffy met him. Everyone else, was too caught up in the world to ...to dare to reach for our own dreams.

Luffy was our salvation.

I don't know why he is so loyal, maybe, he liked the company or maybe, he really did believe that if Luffy was lost the entire crew would be as well. That his dream would end. I don't know, but, that wasn't how I would remember him ...crouch down in the rubble. Blood dripping down his face as he surrendered, no ...the Zoro I will always remember will be the one who fought with me. The one who constantly nap and train, who understood pirate law better ...than anyone else on the ship...the one with the most discipline and skill out of everyone ...except me. That is the Zoro I will remember.

But, that had nothing to do with what I did next ...after I saw him fall ...I continued. I had to make him understand my worth, and I didn't lie. Not once ...for if he had choose to take either of their lives, Zoro or Luffy's, I would have made everything I said a reality.

"I know the Marines don't give a damn about me..."

I allowed my leg to slowly drop then. Anything faster and I would have collapsed.

"...but soon enough the man who will be most feared by the marines will be me. Black Leg Sanji."

It was a declaration of war. A true one, because, I would have made it my mission to destroy every last one of them ...the Marines. I would have become their slayers, because, I would never allow anyone to get away with hurting one of my nakama. Not now, and not ever.

Robin, I remember when she was taken by CP-9. I had fought so hard to get her back ...I had boarded a train, I had tracked her down. I would never let her go, and would have died for her then ...if those bastards hadn't had other things in mind. If their plan hadn't worked, because, she was right in front of me. And I had fought hard to get to her, there was no way ...no way in hell, I would leave her behind. The woman who was once our enemy, but, now our nakama. She had gone through hell in her life, but she never turned away from her dream. She seek it, even in the shadows and the fires of evil. I will always admire that in her, she is the calm in the sea of chaos, and the one that directed with little bits of wisdom. If we had lost her that day, it would have been a big blow for our crew.

I hope she doesn't blame herself for what happen to me. She should never doubt our bonds as nakama, and I was glad she came back.

I just wish I could do the same, but, I had to stay strong. I stalled for time, I was really afraid to die. I had faced it once, I think ...other than Franky ...none of the others really understood that. They had seen death in others, they had been hurt themselves, but never ...had they faced the hopelessness of knowing that it was clawing at them and there was nothing more they could do about it. They feared the pain, but I feared the end results.

Franky.

I still wonder about him ...his strength, his ability ...how he had managed to pull himself together again ...after surely being torn apart. Franky is silly, but brilliant, and he has the spunk and character to be a strong member of our crew. I wish I would have gotten to known him better. I just hope, he shared some of that strength with the rest of the crew. They all have lost someone precious to them, and I am sorry, that I am amongst that number. I never wanted to hurt my nakama, but ...like Zoro said, the crew wouldn't survive without Luffy ...but I don't think it would survive without him too.

I am the only one replaceable.

Despite the fact, I call Chopper our reserve food source. I knew this to be true, because, because, Chopper would be needed to save lives after this battle. He would heal the wounds of their bodies. I know he could do nothing about their hearts. Though he would try. Nami-san would be the one to lead them away, she would have the gold to buy another cook, even if they couldn't find one to simply join the crew. She would be sensible about it all. She would be the one to keep them from doing something stupid or rash. I know she will, because, she is always logically. She is always the one whom keep us from getting in over our heads.

My lovely Nami-swan, I didn't want to die on you. Please believe me ...I know, she lost her parent. In order to keep her safe, to protect them, she had died. This would be so similar to that ...I could imagine her pain at the news.

If I could cry ...I would at the thought of her.

But, it's not possible, and I am sure, Usopp would do enough for both of us. He would ...be the one to support Luffy. Everyone knew it, though Zoro is the first mate, Usopp is Luffy's best friend. They always do things together, and its his carefree nature temper with Usopp's degree of caution that has kept Luffy out of as much danger as Nami's quick fist. A joke in everyone's eyes, I have seen those moments of precision and intelligences that make him something to be feared. He is the one who gave Nami her ability to protect herself, and the one whom I know when he find the strength to stand on his own ...would be able to surpass both me and Zoro in terms of usefulness in the crew.

He has always had a tool or trick to turn the tide in his favor. I hope he can do the same for the entire crew now. Something to help them forget me ...for once, I don't think I would mind so much if I was forgotten.

I had stalled as long as I could ...as long as I was able. But, just like in my mind ...in my memories, it eventually reach it's end. I had nothing else to say, and as I glare and trembled ...he accepts ... It is not in his words, that I know this as make my final assurances. As for a moment, I worry about him breaking our deal, but as he knew the pain from Luffy ...I almost smiled.

Or maybe, it's just how I feel about it now.

I know the trick that was played on me. I was expecting a swift death, I had asked for it ...to be killed and simply for it to end. Though he had other plans, Kuma, would make me suffer ...make me want to quit the arrangement, but I wouldn't. I had my pride and my crew's life on the line.

He extracted something from Luffy, something that was bigger than me in size and was shaped like one of his paws. He would explain it even as he gave me a little bit of it.

The first taste of my Captain's pain, suffering, and fatigue ...I didn't understand before then ...why he didn't wake up. Luffy has always protected us, he always seem to show up just when things seem the most hopeless. This situation was hopeless beyond measure, but he didn't rouse. Our grinning captain, the one who wishes to be the pirate king, but, there is almost nothing about his actions that is that of a pirate. He saved the weak, defend the helpless, and gave those with no where to go ...a home. He is a hero, but, no one would dissuade him of his wish to be a pirate. To be it's king, because, there is no other profession that would allow him the freedom that the boy needs. All else, would be suffocation and death ...death much worst than the one I faced.

I tasted blood in the back of my throat after just the sample. I almost collapse to my knees, I wouldn't be able to get up again if I fell. Everything shook, and if I had thought I was in pain before ...I think I had somehow managed to find another level to vision blur, but I kept it together.

We had a new deal now...his words confirmed it.

Luffy's pain and suffering would kill me. It was his form of execution, so if I could survive it ...would I live? I didn't know, but, I had to try it, and as he finish his words ...I asked for only one thing. To move the location, I had felt the blood int he back of my throat , and I knew that was just a small bit. The bigger one ...well I don't want my nakama to weak up covered in my blood.

It was better this way ...and once we were in the right place ...we stopped for my final execution. I don't think there was ever a time in my life when I wished for a cigarette worst than a that moment. But, I had lost all that was in my pocket, there was nothing else for me ...then ...as I would look him up and down once.

Kuma, please ...keep your words ...please let my nakama grow strong enough that we don't lose anyone else to him.

I think I prayed then. I don't generally believe in anyone or anything. How many died and suffered, and that powerful being made no moves to help anyone. So, how could I believe that for some strange reason it would change with me. It was truly desperation that made me do that then ...and desperation that made me take that deal then.

I was desperate to save them. To protect their dreams, Chopper ...wants to create a perfect Cure All, Usopp ...wants to become a brave Warrior of the sea, Nami ..make a map of all the Oceans, Robin wants to read all of the world's gylphs, and find their secrets, and Franky ...would make the perfect warship.

I didn't need to be there ...I just needed them to find it ...All Blue, and prove to the world that it is real.

It was enough.

I told myself that ...as I plunge my hands inside, and the pain ...become all consume. As I felt it tear my body apart, as I felt it in every sense that knew or could understand pain ...until it was mind numbing. Until, there was nothing left, and then ...came the blackness.

The blessed blackness ...maybe my desperation had in the end pay off.

Blackness turned to white, and the memories ...the dreams ...the past, the present, and the tattered future faded.

Sanji finally found peace.


	2. Chapter 2

_**DESPERATION**_

( I want to thank everyone who reviewed. It really helps to know that someone is actually reading it and enjoying it. Well, this is the next chapter. All my chapters after the first are going to be shorter, even though I did end up cutting this one in half. It was becoming too long, and I think I lost direction a bit. If I did, please let me know, I take both helpful comments as well as criticism well.)

_You never realize what you have ..._

_Until it's gone_

_That was never true for us._

_Maybe, that is why, we miss it all the more._

The first to rouse was Zoro, he had only pass out thanks to the hit. He had a reason to struggle back to the world of the living, and the determination to drag himself through hell and back again. He would rouse, because he had a purpose ..and the moment the darkness faded ...he would move. His eyes popping open as he reached for his swords.

"BASTARD."

Urgency.

Everything hurt, everything burn, the wound on the side of his face made his vision blur. It made everything swim, and it slowed him down as he rolls over and press one hand to his face. The three swords were still at his side, but none of that matter, he wanted to look for him ...to search for him. He had remembered from the moment he had rouse, and as his vision settles ...his eyes immediately going towards his captain. Still sleeping, and not a hair on his head hurt, but he had been move ...recently ...a few meters/inches. He would then search for something more and he see nothing but rubble around him with out the telltale signs of big splotches of blood and a decapitated body. They had moved. He hoped, the stupid chef had stall for time, that there was still hope. Though there was one big problem, he always knew even though he denials it, he couldn't go more than a few steps without getting lost? Is that why he moved away, so, he couldn't go and find him? So, he couldn't stop him?

"Stupid, shitty, Dartboard brow, no talent ...ero-cook."

How much time had pass?

He would get up slowly, still holding his side. He needed to find him and now, but how? He walked aimlessly for a few minutes. His foot would touch on something soft, as he looked down to see he had literally step on the body of his crew doctor. A reindeer with a sensitive nose, Chopper, ...as a idea bloom in his eyes, and then wilted at the same time. His understanding and anger would war with each other in that moment, and his temper got the better of him as he moved his foot off of the deer.

Still out cold.

He would hit the rock by the head of the ship's Doctor.

Blood would splatter the ground from the force of his blow, and a cut would open up on his hand, but nothing ...nothing help.

Chopper, he needed him to wake up, but he didn't want him to wake up.

He knew if he found him, and there was nothing but a body ...Chopper was the last one he wanted to see. But, he also knew, that he was the only one who would know where to go. His nose could find him, so, he needed him to wake up, but he didn't want him to wake up if it was too late.

How much time had pass?

He was running out of time ...if there was any time left. He would reach down for Chopper, dropping to his knees beside the deer. He was going to try and shake him awake, but before his hands could grab those small shoulders.

A voice would stop him.

"Samurai-sama."

It would make his head snap up, and he would see them. Two of the pirates that had been reduced to ghost by Moria only moments before. Those whom had gotten back their lives from the struggles of his crew. The nameless, but at that moment twin rays of ...hope.

"We saw everything."

One was crying.

"You two were so brave and noble."

The other continue with snot running down his face along side the tears.

Zoro didn't realize the emotions that ran across his face. The fear, the surprise, elation, and horror at their words again, but neither did they, so maybe, it never surface despite the feelings. They knew, they had seen...and they could lead him to him. He would stand up then, and grab the one closest in both hands. His hands were clamp on his shoulders so that the man had no chance of running away. A pursuit is the one thing, he knew, he would be unsuccessful of if he let things get too far. He wasn't completely in control at this moment, so the face he shown must have been scary from the reaction of the one in his grip.

Thus, he was surprised that the other one hadn't run. Though it didn't matter, He only needs one, but it never hurt to have two.

"Where did they go?"

"Where did the ...paw man take him?"

The man would stop his ranting then. He would look fully into the eyes of one who was afraid for his nakama, and he would point with one finger into the distance.

"We were playing dead, so we didn't see exactly but they went that way."

"Good, take me ..."

That part would surprise the man in his grip. He was sure, that he would immediately take off in that direction, especially when he said he wasn't exactly sure where to go. Afterall, he could only give him a direction, not actually find him.

Though the grip didn't slack as he waited for a answer.

Time was wasting.

Zoro never wanted to admit it, but he was desperate. He needed to help him ...now. That meant, he needed this man's help now.

"I get lost easily. I need you to lead me in the direction you pointed, otherwise, I won't ...be able to find him."

The men looked at each other, and for a moment surprise was there. But, then they would nod.

Pride was nothing, they were his friends, they were his family.

He would risk his life for them, so what was pride? His nakama, that would protect each other to the death ... what was pride compared to that?

Zoro told himself that ...as the man would nod and start to lead him.

There was a sense of urgency in their steps, and there was a question on his lips.

How long? Though he couldn't ask it. How long had he lay there while his nakama was dying? How long had he been laying there, when he died?

When?

How?

He didn't want to know, and though he was impatience. They couldn't go any faster ...unless he carried them, and he knew, that would take more time ...then he was willing to give. When he ran at full speed, he can sometimes over shoot his objective, especially when they called out directions too slow.

This was for the best.

Straight ahead, maybe, he hadn't wanted to hide as much as he had thought. The course never vary, so, only he would have had trouble following. As they got closer, he smells it thickly before they come upon it. They were going in the right direction, and his impatiences takes over then. Blood ..old, fresh, he couldn't tell, but thick ... the scent...and there was enough that the entire area smelled of death and sickness.

He ran past them, but he didn't burst upon the scene.

His memory wasn't in tatters, he knew, he couldn't take the bear man.

But, that didn't matter, he would not let one of his nakama die. No matter the danger, pain, or his own sacrifice, and thus, he drew his swords first and then he step forward. Everything bottom out then...the world ...reasoning...understanding.

And the man that held onto his swords even in the grip of death would drop them ...then.

The swordman that could cut a ship in two ...trembled and drop to his knees.

It was never his death that he feared as the two behind him came upon the scene. Their mouths would drop open, and their eyes would bulge out. For the scene in front of them should have been impossible, but reality ...has always found a way to make things that seem impossible possible.

The entire area ...from tree to stone...

it was drench red ..

...blood ...

everywhere.

He was too late.

"...Sanji..."

It was the first time ...that he called the chef by name.


	3. Chapter 3

(This is going to be my hardest chapter to write. Thus, I am going to try my best, but also, because, this is my hardest chapter to write ...it will probably be full of mistakes. I could only read over it once, without fear of changing it. So forgive me for all the mistakes in this one.)

**_DESPERATION_**

_Regret_

_something everyone has_

_And something no one wants_

_You can give it_

_You can share it_

_But you can never avoid it_

_Regret_

Sometimes, the best choice is to do nothing, and sometimes, it's the worst. Brook wasn't knocked out in the fight either, he had watched their trial and their fall. It had capture him as surely as the last song he had played with his crew. And like with his crew, though he wanted to,...he could do nothing to stop it.

Zoro's fall and Sanji's first trial.

He watched as the man would ask for one favor afterwards, and then the two of them would walk away.

He wanted to help him then, stop this, ...he could even ask to be traded. Afterall, he is nothing more than a Skeleton anyway, so, what's the worst that Kuma could do to him?

Though as the chef walked away, and the two disappear from sight ...there wasn't a thing he could do. He was just barely clinging onto consciousness by a thread. His final thoughts ...his last words before he slipped away ...was more of a joke than anything else.

"I can't move a muscle to help.. though as just bones, I don't have any muscles ...yohohoho."

Darkness would claim him then as his own laughter seem to slip away into nothingness.

It had only been activity that had kept him awake with such injuries. He couldn't help it, he didn't want to pass out as long as there was life around him. He would always hate stillness and fear when sounds ended. It was why, he could find the darkness then. The darkness that was his salvation when everyone had died, was also, the first thing he remembered ...when he awoke alone.

He didn't like the darkness, but, he couldn't stand ...a world without any sounds even less.

So, when he woke again ...he knew half a day had pass. The sun was just overhead, and the sound of movement had rouse him slightly. Though it wasn't enough to completely bring him back to reality. Just that moment when the waves of darkness would bring him to the surface. Enough to see the world beyond it's violent seas before it plunges him back under ...as the sound of boots running off in the distances and the flash of black pants would be all he would have time to recognize before the darkness pulled him under again.

The next time he rouse, the sun was again ...just separating darkness from light. It had been a full day, and this time, the darkness didn't pull at him. He had ridden the sea's to safety once more. And, he was rouse by sound, lovely sound ...as one of the pirates they had saved proclaim what he already knew ...a day had pass.

A memory would spark.

Was it true?

She had called out that everyone had made it, too.

There was some relief on his soul then as he sat up. The entire resting thing did wonders for him ...as he felt most of his wounds were gone. Then again, wouldn't all of his wounds be considered serious... too serious for resting just to solve...considering he was bones ...there was no such thing as flesh wounds for him.

He would have laughed out loud ...if the captain of this crew wasn't already doing that.

He was was so happy it was hard to turn your eyes away from him, and the way the rest of his crew was excited. Surely everything had had a happy ending after all, somehow.

It was these false hopes that Brook had learned long ago to not fall for, but still, somehow, every time ...he fell for the same trick. The sound of his crew as they sung out to him, the sight of them in the fog as they race around the deck. How many times had he believed it to be real, and then done something to wake up from the dream? How after the first few times it had happen, he had tried to drown himself in it, but never succeed. Something always woke him up from the dream, and brought him back to reality.

This time was no different ...as their captain would finally notice ...the silent figure in their mist. The doctor once ...all the playing and fun was done ...would detect the blood, and the long nose's sharp mind would start to piece together a puzzle no one truly wanted solved.

"What happen to the kuma guy?"

The question had been asked earlier.

"He probably thought we were dead and left. We sure fooled him."

That had been the answer, but there was a least two, that knew ...that was a lie. An untruth, as Brook waited to hear another answer.

"Oi, what's wrong Zoro?"

That was the captain's questions. The man was sitting on the stones, his sword held tight in one hand, and his head bow. He wouldn't look up even as his name was called nor would he answer even as the boy got closer.

It would be bad news.

Brook knew all about bad news, and almost as if everyone could sense the topic ...more questions would be asked. It would be the orange haired girl next.

"Where is Sanji?"

"Yeah, he normally would have latched onto Nami or Robin by now."

The tall one with the blue hair would answer.

Though her question wasn't directed at the swordmen at all. It was a general one, as the fun and games would die completely with those words. As it become open for anyone to answer, it would become the endless stretch of silence that Brook wanted to slice away.

Though before he could act.

Zoro would answer in the silence.

"He is gone."

It was said with such a ...tone, that no one could possible miss the meaning. No one except it would seem the Captain.

"Oi, gone ...where? Did he go back to the ship to get food? I am starving."

Zoro never looked up as he answered.

"He won't be coming with us any further."

That one snap all thoughts of food from the Captain's mind, and from the others, dread shown on their faces. Afterall, they had all been there when Kuma had appeared. They all knew of the enemy they had faced, and, it wasn't rare nor impossible for those two to have managed to stay on their feet afterwards, their swordmen and chef. It wasn't beyond reason, that they would fight, after everyone else had been knocked into unconsciousness.

The sinking feeling of despair was slowly creeping in.

"Huh? Why are you talking crazy, Zoro? Where is Sanji?"

The question would be asked much more sharply now. All attention was on him ...as the two men that had been sitting behind Zoro would finally draw some attention to themselves ...as one moves to answer the question. A single sword slash would stop him ...as the winds blew with an aura that spoke of death and destruction. No one was allowed to interfere in this conversation. No one else, was allowed to give their Captain any more insight than he was willing to give nor the Captain was willing to receive.

There was no thing more to say, and the deep cut in the ground by his foot make it clear...that meant everyone was to let him ...come to the conclusion for himself.

"Sanji is gone."

It was the first time anyone had heard him call the chef by name. It was something that shook the crew all the harder as Chopper would finally speak then.

"I smell blood ...Sanji?"

This made the captain all the wilder, as he grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him to his feet as he drew the man close. In the mind of some, the thought that he had killed his own crew mate ran in their heads, but, it never stir in the minds of the strawhat crew. They were friends, and they were family, and there was a much more dangerous foe they could blame his disappearance on.

"Where is he?"

"Gone."

The same question, the same answer, but, this time ...it seem to take on a completely different meaning.

"You are lying. I will find him myself."

The swordman's hand would grab him even as the Captain released and pushed away. The stronger of the holds and of the moves, would leave Zoro standing with the rubber man shoulder trapped in his grip.

"Don't ...he left so you wouldn't see it."

The words came out strong, but to Brook it was a plea as the first sob rang out. The bear man hadn't simply left, he had taken something with him, and he had left something behind as well.

Despair and regret.

Sorrow and Anger.

Things went chaotic after that.

The Captain was beyond simple words, and it would take more to stop him as he ripped Zoro's arm from his shoulder. He didn't want to believe, he wasn't going to believe. He would find his missing crew member, and he would be healthy and whole. And it was at that moment, that it truly sunk in ...as Usopp would be the first to stutter it.

"Zoro ...tell me, I am understanding this wrong. Sanji isn't dead?"

"Is he?"

It would radiate through the entire crew. The realization, and the sudden belief, but it would be Luffy that snap. He would turn even on Usopp at that moment as he would roar at him.

"Don't say that. Like hell, no way, he isn't dead. Zoro just telling some sort of shitty joke."

Though Zoro was there, he could speak for himself.

"Yes. Sanji won't be traveling with us anymore."

It was like an axe in the captain's back. His words, were a deep wound to the rest of the crew, but they weren't the only one. The man who had said it outloud had his hands balled up into a fist, they shook, his swords rest uselessly on the ground. Everyone understood now, there was no more chances of misunderstanding, and as Luffy turned on his own crewmate with a viciousness that drew blood.

He never once tried to defend himself, Zoro.

It was those flood of emotions that Brook had fought on his ship.

When they knew that their time had come. The raising panic, the cries, and the weeping for the past ...it was something they had fought with their final breathes ...as he called them to sing a song.

Their only regret was Laboon.

No, he was their rallying point.

He was their nakama that even in the midst of despair, somehow, he managed to save them all.

They would not die with tears on their faces, instead, they would die with a smile.

For they were doing what they love the most, for the one nakama that they knew had been safely left behind, Laboon. For the one, the one they wanted to bring with them, but had spared from being the first to die. For the Grandline truly is a harsh and cruel place, and it left no one who sailed on these seas ...the same.

No one.


	4. Chapter 4

(I want to thank everyone for the reviews. I was really down about this, because, it seems that the reviews are becoming less with each chapter. So, before it dwindle to nothing, I plan to bring this to an end. I also want to thank those that follow and fav as well.)

**DESPERATION**

_Goodbye_

_Words that are said so casually_

_Until it last forever_

_Then it is so hard to say it_

_Goodbye_

Nami stood alone ...as she wipe the tears from her eyes. One hand pushing them from her lashes as the other ...her elbow's crook would seek to hide them from the world. She had managed to hold it in before, she had stood before them all without them...even as the truth was revealed. But, there was no one to see it now, no where to hide. But still, she didn't want to ...if she release those tears.

There would be no way to take them back.

Sanji is dead.

Even as their captain and first mate fought, she shed no tears.

The one sided fight ...as Luffy hit Zoro over and over again. As he called him a liar, and he demanded he take back what he said. That Sanji wasn't dead, and that he would be coming back to them. As those hits became more furious, and as his words turned from a demand to something of a plea.

But, nothing Luffy said nor did ...made Zoro even flinch nor say a single word in his own defense.

He wouldn't take it back.

Luffy might have beaten him to death if Franky hadn't interfered. The man would literally step in and grabbing Luffy by both arms and pull him away from Zoro. Chopper would then in get in between any more fighting as he went to check out the injuries.

Nami couldn't get it out of her head.

Sanji was gone, and all they could think to do was fight.

All those two every did was fight, but they would never fight again. And for a moment, she could see him there, Zoro and him, the two of them fighting ... a fight that was more of a dance than anything else. A thrust of his legs, a parry of his swords, and as it ran down his face ...it would vanish.

The dream ...the hope ..the wish.

They never drew blood.

Yet, Blood drip down his face to run into the collar of his shirt.

Zoro's blood.

More blood spill.

They had returned to their ship ...afterwards ...to gather supplies. Luffy wouldn't hear about them leaving. He refuse to believe in Zoro's words. He believed that Sanji wasn't dead, and thus, they would wait for him. Not long, a day maybe more. They would wait where he could find them, and that would require they had supplies. They had everything they needed for the day and the night on the ship, and so they had to come back. Even knowing that the bear man had been here, couldn't take away the comfort of getting to the ship, of seeing it. For a moment everything seem like it would be able to go back to normal, but that blew away the moment she looked towards the kitchen.

Sanji's kitchen.

He would never return there again.

She had gone to her room immediately after that giving some excuse about needing a map or something, and here, she bolted her door and fought against it. Her back press against the door, because, she didn't have the strength to move any further and hold it back as well. Though she fought hard ...it was winning ...she couldn't hold it back.

Too much ...this had been too much.

She would sob openly finally..as her arms drop from her face and her legs gave out as she slide to the ground.

His ear would flick with the sound.

Behind a door, it was muffled, but he could hear it.

Nami ... the word's escape Chopper's mouth as he felt the tears pour down his face again. More tears, more hurt, more pain, and the little reindeer had to wonder if it was worth it. If he should have come to sea, because, at home ...though there was pain. Though he hurt, there wasn't much more he could lose there. There wasn't any more lives that when extinguish would cause him more pain. Here, he thought of their smiling faces, of the hands that reached out to him, and to the fact that they had called him friend, nakama. The first was Luffy, the second Zoro, the third, Nami, the fourth, Usopp and the fifth ...he had died alone.

Just like the doctor ...the one who had been his best friend, his father, his brother ...the one person that hadn't called him a monster. That had help him without him asking, why ...why did they die? Why did he leave? Why did they leave? Sanji wasn't sick, so why didn't he save him?

He was suppose to be their doctor.

How could he let death take another person?

Wasn't he looking for the All Cure? Wasn't he studying to make sure death never happen again on his watch. So why? Why didn't he...?

The tears pour down his face and into his fur.

A hand would touch his hat, then.

"Don't cry over that shitty cook."

Zoro? That's right, he was suppose to be helping him, and for once, Zoro was being a good patient. He had come back to the ship with him, because, he didn't have enough supplies there they had come to his office ...to their sick bay.

So, he had to do it

He had to take away his pain

He wanted someone to take away his, but ...

Chopper went about bandaging the areas where the wounds were open. Though he could do nothing about the ones that were close, even though they bleed out ...all the same. He couldn't stop it.

He couldn't stop Zoro's bleeding, because, he couldn't stop his own.

Doctor-kun will make him better.

Robin was sure of that as they split up. Their hearts were too heavy to even assist those that had come with them to the ship. They gave them free run to take what they want. Navigator-san, will be livid about that, but, at this moment ...they could probably dismantle the entire ship, and the crew wouldn't care.

Especially, if that would return him to them.

She went to her room as well.

Her heart hurt, as she remembered him.

That time on the train, she thought he was going to die. He had run through the entire thing, he had fought his way to the front, and even there ...he wasn't willing to give up. He would give up his life to save her, and on that tower ...he had been with them.

She had been willing to give up her life to protect theirs.

They were willing as well.

So, why wasn't it enough?

They had said they were strong enough to defeat anything, so why?

Why was he dead?

She search for the truth in the past.

But there was one thing that past, present, and the future will always have in common.

Death.

It exist in all three times, and would exist as long as there was life. No matter what glyph she read or ancient tome, she couldn't find a cure for it, it was always there. Always looming, always around her, and though they had promise her ...that she would be free of it.

It would still claim everything she loved.

She would start to laugh. The deep laughter that she had taken from the small Giant. The one that he had taught her when she was truly in despair. Always laugh, even during the bad times, even when it hurt. She press her hands against her face as the tears started to flow.

"Dere-shii."

"Dere-shiiiii...shiii."

Why did she always survive?

Boom!

The entire ship rocked as...Franky lost it. He had managed to hold in his anger, he had managed to stay calm, but he couldn't stop the tears. They hadn't know him long, he hadn't know them long. So, it shouldn't hurt...but it was like with the ship.

The tears wouldn't stop.

It was too sad ...too sad.

A hand would touch his back then.

"Sanji wouldn't like that. He considered himself to be a man among men, so he wouldn't like it if a man was crying over him like that."

Usopp would tell him, and as Franky turned to give his reply ...his mouth would fall open.

"You are crying too."

Ever the liar, Usopp would simply tell him.

"I am not crying, I just got dust in my eyes when you threw that big machine."

He would wipe at the tears, but they still cascaded down his face.

"So, let's get to work."

Franky would almost laugh. Sure, only dust from the machine he threw, but, he hadn't thrown any machine.

Usopp had known Sanji from the beginning.

He was there when he joined the crew, he had seen what Luffy had done to gain him. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the boy would wait forever for him. They would never have another cook.

Luffy would never allow it.

The tears wouldn't stop as he turned and went back to his station. They had a job to do afterall. Droplets falling on the metal in his hands, and he would wipe it away.

Though the thoughts never stopped.

Sanji had had a home.

He wasn't like himself, who had been ...a good for nothing. He wasn't like Nami, whom had given up everything to spare everyone, and who ...had never been at home to begin with. There was a place for him...he had made a place for himself in this world. He wasn't an outcast like Chopper, or a criminal like Robin. He hadn't been considered a nuisance like Franky, nor was he alone like Brook. He didn't get lost like Zoro.

Sanji had a place to go back to ...even if he never succeed.

He had a skill that would allow him to leave the sea behind him.

He had a purpose, even if this mission failed.

He had nakama ...even if he wasn't on this ship.

What would they tell them?

He didn't have to take the route of a pirate.

He didn't have to die.

So why?

He dropped it ...the metal piece in his hand as he wipe at tears.

Damn them.

There was too many to continue to work. Too many to see ...

Why?

Why did they have to say goodbye?

The banquet took place that night, it wasn't much. There was no chef to turn the food into delicacies. There was only those that knew how to cook, so it was edible, but it wasn't the same.

A blessing in disguise, while, Brook played his song.

Everything was so un-naturally quiet.

Luffy was still outside ...even though it was dark, he sat in the rubble waiting. No one dared to approach him about coming inside, and eventually it would be Zoro that would take him food. The Captain looked at him for a moment, and then he would simply take the food from him. It was silent, but they both had come to some sort of a resolution as Zoro sat down next to him.

Though no words had been spoken it was like a silent call to them all.

Like a steady flow of water trekking it's way through snow ... the rest of the strawhats would gather around them outside ...one after another. Until, even Brook joined them as Luffy smiled big for the first time. It was a confirmation ...that he was a member of their crew. That he had become their nakama, and it seemed to lift the heaviness from their hearts for a moment.

Then the skeleton asked him ...did he really believe it ...that Sanji wasn't dead? That he would return?

Was he going to bring it back again?

The man that said he would be pirate king didn't even hesitate.

"Of course, just like Laboon is waiting for you. WE will wait for him"

It would break down all barriers then ...as the story of the whale was told. As Brook remember his own story, and as they gained a new nakama under the stars. Though Zoro stay quiet throughout this ...he was still so close.

If Luffy heard him now? He had never been afraid of his Captain before, but then, he had never seen the rage he had display against Zoro. He didn't think he could take it if that rage was pointed at him, but, he had to do it. Now was the best time, it was the only time, because they had finished already.

He wanted to put them to rest together.

Brook's nakama and Sanji.

Usopp would gather his own courage.

"We can't leave him out there."

He would say the words as a whisper at first, but his tone gain a normalcy to it. He knew it hurt Luffy to hear him say it, but they couldn't pretend forever.

"We need to bury him or send him out to sea. I know ...he wouldn't want us to see him, but we can't leave him ...like that."

Zoro would look back at him. His words were almost a whisper ... but it carried clearly to the entire group.

No one missed those words.

"There is no body...

...just blood...

...too much blood."


	5. Chapter 5

**DESPERATION**

(And, when I think it's over ...the reviews go back up. Now what to do ...end it or continue? Well, this could make a good stopping point, so I guess, I will wait to find out either way.)

_Hope_

_Is a scary thing_

_It can make a dead man walk_

_Extend life_

_And when it dies_

_Kill_

_Hope _

_Is a scary thing_

Luffy had to swallow his laughter as the crew went ballistic with those words. He needed to focus now more than ever, even as he felt the relief of the crew completely. It was like someone had open a window in a stuffy room, or after lunch, when the food was all gone and suddenly there was snacks. It was just as audible a relief as a loud sound, so thick that he could almost taste it, and a part of him was glad for his stubbornness. Even he had his breaking point, and he had been quickly getting there.

Even the captain had been losing hope.

He could stop the laughter from escaping him, but not the smile that grace his face.

It hadn't been in vain ...his struggle.

It was a wide and toothy grin that made him look like a idiot to his enemies, and gave comfort to those who was seeking his help. It was an expression that many would call him stupid for, as he clutch the hat on his head tightly. He would pull it down over his eyes for a moment. His crew needed that smile at this moment, but the joy in his smile couldn't reach his eyes.

He didn't need to let his crew see that.

Afterall, hope wasn't a solution, nor was it really an answer, but, it was the beginning in a search for one.

"You mush brain!"

Nami yelled as she hit Zoro across the head hard. Usopp would chime in then almost perfectly as it would seem that the paralysis that held him silent had pass. There was unshed tears in both of their eyes as he spoke.

"How can you seriously say he is dead ...if there is no body!"

Zoro would rub at the swore spot with one hand as Nami would turn and lock eyes with Usopp.

"That's right, I told you earlier that Kuma-guy had some weird ability that made that ghost girl disappear. He could also teleport. Do you think he did that to Sanji?"

All eyes went to her then, as Robin would take that moment to point something out as well.

"It's possible, especially considering that Swordman-kun never saw what happen to Cook-kun. If he did, he could tell us what happen to his body."

Everyone's eyes would turn to Zoro then...

This was his opening to answer, his chance to tell them if he was hiding anything. The man didn't denial it, nor given any sort of an answer, and silences for Zoro was the best they were going to get as the man would cross his arms. It spur on their hopes, and, though he didn't want to ...Zoro was going to have to put a stop to it as he saw it flare in their eyes.

He open his mouth to object, to explain ...

"Oi, it's not possible because ...PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM SAYING DAMMIT!"

Zoro would discover that they were no longer even listening to him. His time had run out while he was thinking, and now their backs were turned as the four of them was deep in discussion on what to do. They were trying to figure out what had happen to Sanji, and with Usopp in the mix the stories were getting wilder and wilder. Chopper would be the only one still paying Zoro any attention as Brook would be lying on his back on the ground nearest to Nami as if he was trying to get a glimpse of what they were saying.

Though his next comment about panties would reveal his true objective, and he would earn his first lump as a member of the crew.

Chopper would twirl his hooves around each other for a moment as the action brought Zoro's attention back to him. Chopper knew how Zoro felt about the site. He had refused to take Luffy, and the two of them had even fought about it. But, he needed to ask, he needed to check something himself, and with the turn of events. Now was the best time to ask.

Chopper would ask.

"Zoro, do you think you can take me where ...you found all the blood?"

Chopper and Zoro would get everyone's full attention with that question.

"I can track you know, if ...if Sanji is somewhere on this island I can find him."

If not, he didn't make that statement.

It was hope, and no one wanted to crush it.

Zoro once more open his mouth again, but this time, it would be Luffy that cut him off.

"Hai, who is this Kuma guy?"

Everyone had forgotten that Luffy wouldn't know him. He was the only one who had been knocked unconscious before the fight. He was the only one who hadn't seen his frighten strength, and considering where this was leading, and the seriousness in his tone. He was the only one who didn't understand ...that the two of them could not meet, and as beads of sweat would roll down their heads as they tried to think of someway out of it. It would seem that salvation would come from a very unlikely source.

"Umm...Strawhats?"

The pink hair woman from the pirate crew they had rescue would cut in then to everyone's relief. Though they should have guessed, that they would be cutting into this conversation sooner or later. Afterall,with the crew outside, the party inside had of course come to an end. The entire festivities had been for them, and, with all the commotion coming from outside ...the group inside had slowly been making their way outside during the entire commotion.

"...His name is Bartholomew Kuma..."

As a group, the crew would scream at her.

"Don't tell him about him!"

It would end with Usopp gaining a few new lumps, and the story for the most part coming out anyway. This crew, was always an interesting thing, and as plans were made, Zoro finally just gave up on the whole explanation part...of why Sanji was dead. No one was listening to him anyway. He even found himself relieved of being a guide for Chopper as those two pirates that had help him find the site had agreed to show Chopper. Though Zoro made sure they haven't forgotten his threat of death if they chose to tell anything more. After that, Luffy had pretty much declared that Sanji wasn't dead, and that was the end of it. When Luffy got a certain way, the crew just knew, it was easier just to go along with it.

It usually turn out for the best.

They all hope that this time would be no different.

Elsewhere ...three days later ... a storm would send the waves crashing against the base. The lights would swing as they hung from the ceiling, and the men would work overtime making sure that nothing of importances was swept away into the sea. The pattering of rain ...outside made a noise that was almost deafening ...as those who worked and lived inside of the place strove to ignore it. In this backwater place a war was being fought by the marines fought against the most deadly and unrelenting of foes. This was a war that promise that they would see multiply fatalities that day, as the leader of this group would swear loudly. He was drench in blood from his chest to his legs, and he had blood up to his elbows on his arms. He looked at his battlefield as he left one battle behind him, victory, and cursed when he saw how many more lay before him.

"What the fuck were those Admirals doing? Why did it seem like there was more and more patients every day?"

He would walk past the row of beds containing more battles for him to fight. He was the head doctor of this group of Marine physicians, and he ran this base with an iron glove. Though they couldn't save them all, they were damn well going to give it their all ...as his eyes glance to the glass room. This is the place where victory or failure was balance on a knife edge. His eyes would glance over to their newest arrival, a man with blonde hair spread out everywhere and with a oxygen mask on his face. He was bandage from head to toe, but, even with one half of his face covered ...it was hard not to notice the strangest looking curly eyebrow on the visible side. Since, he was brought in unconscious, they didn't know his name, and since he was missing any form of identification they had simply gave him a name. Sanji, that is what they call him, since, that eyebrow had an uncanny resemblance to a member of the straw hat pirates. It was nothing more than a joke, because, no one would every mistake their Sanji with Blacklegs.

Their face looked completely different.

"Still hanging in there, Sanji?"

He would tap the glass outside of his room.

He wasn't expecting a response, but the sight of the breathing machine was enough of an answer for him. He was still here, and maybe, someday he would wake up. Then again, the machine might sing his death song any moment ...as well. Just another battle, just another insignificant life ...that could be saved or lost to the sea.

He never noticed that the heart rate monitor would speed up slightly after he left.

(Well, that is it ...or it could be it. Anyway, if this is the last chapter, I hope everyone enjoy this as much as I like writing it. )


	6. Chapter 6

**DESPERATION**

(I hate to admit this, but I am addicted to reviews. Thus, with so many reviews, I have to continue this, but this wasn't in the plan. So I don't really know myself where this is going. )

_Three days, it took three for the straw hat crew to leave Thriller bark. During that time, they hadn't been able to find any information on their missing cook, and they had put to rest ...Brook's nakama. It was more than time to move on, and thus, Luffy left behind a message at the grave site._

_See ya in all blue._

_No one said, it was good message._

The ship left Thriller bark behind as Nami stood with her elbows against the railing. Her hands dangling over the sea, the water so pristine and blue. She could see her reflection it was so calm as the ship cut through it, and she press her chest against the railing as she got a better look at it. The wind teasing her hair playfully as she lean over, a gentle breeze, almost like a caress. The sky, she could see it in the waves ...was so peaceful, not even a cloud to disrupt it, and she wanted to laugh.

This was the calm before the storm.

Nami shifted backwards a bit. So that she no longer threaten to go over into the water head first. She pulls it free of her pocket as her feet touch the deck of the ship once more and she looked at it. The Vivre paper in her hands was whole and white, but Luffy's, his ...was starting to burn down. The paper in her hand didn't seem so significant, but, it held a lot of power. Knowledge...of your nakama's whereabout and well being, and though it could bring despair as well as reassurance ...either way, it brought with it freedom. Freedom from the dread that stamp a person's heart when they didn't know what had happen to their nakama, and had no means to find them.

Nami didn't like this dread ...as she looked at the galley.

If this calm held out, Nami was determined ...there would be no more Sanji's ...for better or worse.

/

The darkness receded ...the light started to shift through. There was a part of him that was glad of that, a part of him that feared it, and he didn't understand any of it. He just knew, he couldn't stay in the dark any longer ...no matter what, and thus, he reached for it.

The machine screamed.

It's voice loud and haunting. It's cries piteous as some of the men in the other rooms would wince at it, while a few even broke down in tears. There was only one place such a noise came from, and that was the glass room. The place where the doctors put those they can do no more for, ...a death room. The room where life was balanced on a knife's edge, and when it topple over ...no one came to save it.

Either you walked out of that room ...or you was rolled out.

They waited ...waited for it to be over, and then another ghost bed would drift down the hallway ...to disappear into the void. They would never see that person again, and his or her name would simply be scratch off the list of survivors.

This place was hell, but, for most of them ...they would be escaping it.

For the few, this was their last resting place.

It wasn't pleasant ...at all.

The sound of footsteps echoed as the man walks down the hall. The manager of the dead himself, his entire purpose here was to check and make sure there was no pulse before he took them into the void below this building. What happen to people there, or at least their bodies was almost legendary in this building. Even those who knew he would never hurt them cringe as he pass. Death cling to him like a wrathful lover. It would strike at any who got too close, this was why they were glad that all of those that were in danger of meeting him was in the glass room. No one who had survived the operating room wanted death to touch them as he entered the place, and the doors swoosh behind him.

It would flutter the doctor's long white coat as the man would reach to the name tag on his chest and straight it a bit.

Doctor Death.

The white gloves on his hands would match the coat, and his eyes, a hideous blue color that was like frozen ice would drift around the room. He would flick his pale pink hair out of his face ...before he went to the screaming machine and cut it off. It was unnecessary now, he knew the dead one. The man peer down, as he looked at the body, comparing it. His skin was pale, but not as pale as him. Lips that were slightly tinted blue, that happen when there was a lack of oxygen in his body. The blood was no longer pumping, the heart no longer beating, so there was no oxygen being pulled in nor being released. He bet by now, his body temperature was cold ...if it wasn't dropping rapidly at this moment. Though something was off, he reaches down to flick a bit of the blonde hair out of the man's face. He wasn't missing a eye as he had first thought. Good, he didn't like it when he got damaged goods. Though, with both eyes showing, it made him seem younger than before. He would guess ...17 or 18, but then again, most of the ones here would fall under that age group.

Death loved them young, which made his range limited.

Though golden blonde was a rare group, so it wasn't a total lost.

He ... would finally look at his clip board on the man's bed. He needed to make sure his name was scratched off the survivor's list, as he saw the question mark after the name. It meant they didn't know.

So, he doesn't have a name. Though, he was pencil in as Sanji, the man would look at the clip board with one eye brow quirked up. It was standard procedure to name a man like him ...John Doe, and give him a number, 34. Most were quickly claimed, afterall, the Marines were known to kept good records of those that were apart of their ranks. But, he always had time to play with them before that...so, he figured this one would be no different ..except someone else had found him interesting.

That meant, he better do his damn job this time.

He would turn away from the bed then as he went to his personal cabinet. It made sense to keep the paper work at arm's length as he pulled the bag with the necessary equipment from there. He would go through the checklist, as he return to sit at the man's side. A chair he had found near one of the beds had gone with him ...as he rested in it. He had turned it backward so that his chin could rest on the backrest instead of him having to lean over as he pulled the boy's shirt up a bit. The bandages would be hard enough to hear through, but impossible with the clothing down. Then he would take out the stethoscope, and place it against the man's heart ...even as he grab one wrist and grip it lightly below the hand. He was looking for a heartbeat or a pulse, and he licked his lips as he concentrated on that before the words dripped from his mouth. Cold and icy as his appearance, when he spoke ...his words stab as sharply as any blade.

"It's dangerous here to play dead...you know."

One blue eye would open then, and the doctor's face would split into a grin.

The cord that attached from the machine to the patient dangle loosely on the ground between them.

Things had just gotten more interesting.

/

It would take a few more days ...as the crew went through candy rain, circle rainbows, strange Sea monsters, and under water typhoon ...before they reached the next port. The happy days for now continued, afterall, Luffy had determined that Sanji wasn't dead ...just lost. He wasn't worried about his brother, especially when...Brook...mention that the Vivre card would recover if the person did. It seemed that was enough.

From the outside, everything was okay.

Though that always changed around meal times ...where the person who had to fix the meals that day were surrounded by the fact ...that their chef was gone. That they may never see him again as they ate food that didn't taste the way it should. That left an emptiness at the table, as Zoro put his swords down. There was no one to fight anymore as he ate quietly as usual, and Luffy for once left everyone's plate alone. There was no one to stop him if he went after Nami's or Robin's plates anymore. No one to yell at him if he caused a mess at the table, and once all was said and done ...there would be no one to give him snacks or stop him from raiding the kitchen. During meals it was hard not to miss him, and if that wasn't enough of a nail in the coffin ...they had to eventually break down the doors to the refrigerator. They could only go so far with the food on the shelves, and since, Sanji didn't trust anyone else with the key ...it had been a task. Luffy had tried to eat the entire thing at one point, Usopp had hit it with his own firestar, and Zoro had tried to cut it while Franky had laugh about it's durability.

The antics were funny, but in the back of everyone's mind ...they were waiting.

A hope ...a prayer, that a foot would materialize out of nowhere to stop all of this. To kick them all out, and Nami and the rest of the crew held their breathe for it to come as their attempts at breaking down the icebox got more and more extreme. Though, it never did ...as Robin finally pointed out that the cook would more than likely have his key somewhere on the ship. All eyes turned on her ...with mischief in it, that quickly fell apart as the search became fruitless, until finally there was only one place left ...that hadn't been search.

This would lead to the second hardest thing they had to do ...go through Sanji's stuff.

The calm before the storm ...seem like it would be ending soon


	7. Chapter 7

**DESPERATION**

(I have a feeling this chapter is going to feel force, maybe, because it was. Sorry for the long delay, but I think I am running into a brick wall with this story. )

The doctor smiled at his patient or at least ...what he thought was a smile. Though the shock look that showed in that blue eye and on that man's face ...told him a different story. Of course, it couldn't be help, some of his teeth had grown a bit jagged through the years, and since the dead never cared how he smiled he was a bit out of practice. Though it couldn't be all that bad ...ah ...the look changed to a glare, and then there was a bit of tension in his shoulder's muscles.

Doctor Death would push his chair back ...as the wheels would roll him to safety even as the man made his move. His leg clearing the bed completely as he did a kick that would spin the man around ...as his arm ...the one that had warn him ...had pulled the sheets upwards so as not to trap his legs while he completed the move. The wind would whistle by the man's head as he saw a few strands of his hair fly into the distances as he rolled to safety only inches ahead of a foot that would have face planted him into a wall otherwise. He would put his foot down to slow his roll only when he was sure he was out of range of that man's legs ...as the man in question stood on the floor. In one move, the man had gone from laying down to standing. The man's had one foot tap the ground toes first, while the other was flat on the floor, and the blanket was twirled elegantly around his arm. For a second he thought of two things ...a waiter or a matador, but in the end ...as he saw muscles flex in his legs. And the slight slip of the man's open back gown ...things became quite clear to any season doctor ...that he qualified as neither ...after all...you didn't get scarring like that in either occupations.

This man is a fighter.

Not good ...

"Oi, calm yourself down..."

The doctor would barely get the words out before he saw that twitch again, but it was lower down ...near the hip. A kick was coming and he ducked it as the move caught the hard back of the chair and spun him almost into the wall ...as the Doctor would put his foot down nearly tipping him over. His shoulder would touch the smooth surface next to him to help him regain his balance...as the smoke that waffle into the air from his stop was testament to how close it had been. He was against the wall. He didn't dare look down at his shoe as the first tinge of pain in his ankle would alert him to his own injury.

Fast ..too fast.

The man had cleared the space between them in mere seconds, and if he hadn't had a warning.

Doctor Death shivered.

"...this is a hospital."

The words had bubble from his lips ...the completion of a sentences that he only realized was still on his lips. It was only then that the man would seem to take in his surroundings fully ...as his shoulders would become slack, and the tension would disappear. Those eyes searching around expectantly, but, it seems he didn't find it as there was a brief bit of disappointment on his face. Then those eyes came back to him. At least that part was expected. No one was happy to be here, but most, understood almost immediately why. Even more so, the doctors ...but this was a puzzle for both of them.

Afterall, this hospital was design to be the end of the line in the career of a Marine.

Men that can do that type of movements never see the inside of these walls, and he immediately start to think of it as a mistake. Especially considering the room they are in ...this wasn't a place for his type. This was the room that borders between life and death, and where he got his pickings from. A healthy man wasn't suppose to be here, and like hell he should be attacked by a patient. This was suppose to be the safest assignment in the whole freaking army.

"What the fuck is going on?"

The man would declare as the Doctor almost laughed.

His sentiments exactly.

/

They had reached it ...they were sailing exactly parallel of the spot where they had first decided to attack the grandline. The waterfall that brought them into these new adventures as they thought of the nakama that waited for them back there, and the one they had lost. They had reached a point where they could cut straight back to it. This was a huge milestone, but somehow ...it wasn't as grand as it should have been.

Luffy thought, not depress in the least. Aftearall, Vivi was good, Laboon was waiting on Brook, and Sanji was out there somewhere. They would find him, so there was no reason to think dark thoughts. The crew would be whole once more ...as he pumps his arm up and down fast, and they broke into a celebration of sorts. It was never as good as it could be ...without a chef on board, but things were still looking up. As they sail past the huge landmass ...the red line, and they grew closer and closer to their dreams.

The log pose they had received was set to Fisherman's island, and thus, when it started to point directly down they reached their first problem. Though as Franky gave them the solution with a sub, a spark of something would reel in his mind. He knew he wouldn't be the only one to think about it, and for that reason alone ...he didn't bother to address it as he got in the sub.

While Sanji was gone ...they wouldn't forget to look for it ...All blue.

Though after a few hours, and the surfacing of the sub one thing was clear. This place wasn't it ...as they literally had a monster follow them home ...as the sea rabbit surface. It wasn't the smartest of bunnies was it? Luffy couldn't keep the smile off of his lips as he prepared his attack.

He needed a distraction.

/

It was a very tense few moments ...as finally the man had decided that Doctor Death wasn't a threat. He would lean against the wall ...as the Doctor made the call. They both needed answers, and quickly as the man taps one foot against the ground in his impatiences. He would look around almost restlessly from side to side, as though waiting for a surprise attack. Not good, the Doc had seen that nervous sort of behavior before though it wasn't threatening at the moment...it could be. Who is this man?

He sighed.

This was why he like dealing with the dead better ...they are so much more simpler.

"When can I get some fucking clothes?"

The man would suddenly snarl. His irritation was thick enough that the Doctor could practically see it radiating off of him, but it wasn't because of anything he had done. He was sure of it, afterall, he was keeping the right amount of distances not to get his head knocked in between his shoulders. He hadn't been saying anything either, so he wasn't agitating him. Though as those eyes lock on him, the Doc knew that could quickly change. He was looking for an actual answer from him. Joy.

"Once, the head Doctor has talked to you, and check your condition."

The Doc. licked his lips as he said those words. A slight sweat broke out on him ..he didn't want to die.

"It's cold as hell in here, and there is nothing wrong with me. You can see, so I would much rather stop standing around here with my fucking ass out and get some clothing."

The Doctor sighed again. He hated his job right now.

"I can't the head doctor has to ..."

That eyebrow jumped, the little curl danced, and it would trigger something inside of him. A small scoff of a laugh threaten to erupt from him, but then, the tightening of muscles on the man's shoulders and legs made him quick to try and swallow it. Even as the curl danced, the Doctor was trying his best to hold it in ...and he almost cried at the sight of the head doctor as he came in. Though his first words weren't reassure for the poor man.

"Why is this patient out of bed? He is badly injured."

Doctor Death drop his head. That man could never read the situation as the head doctor in question would run a hand through his copper colored hair. His face, square and proud, was already looking the patient up and down and making his own assessment. A eyebrow rose in his own question.

"I am not hurt now, as you can see, you have done your damn job, so I would like to get some clothes and leave."

The blonde man declare sharply as the mystery deepens, and the head doctor plunges into it.

"I see you look fine, but I would like to do some test to make sure. Also, there isn't anywhere for you to go soldier ...all the ships have left already. You are stranded here for the moment, and until the time that I declare you well and discharge you...you are a patient here."

"Like hell."

The man roared at the calmness of the head doctor's words, and those muscles twitch as he pushes away from the wall.

Doctor death was looking for a fight when those words brought the young man short.

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

He stop then, and started to think ...thinking about what he should say and what he shouldn't. It wasn't something that took anyone by surprise, a soldier of his skills, he doubt was some everyday man. He was probably sent on a mission that had gone awry, and he couldn't just come out and tell anyone what he doing.

"No hurry then?"

There was a grumble underneath the man's breathe as he sat on the bed. The wind out of his sails.

"I will have clothing brought to you, and you will be moved to the recovery unit in the meantime...I would like to know your name."

The head doctor states slowly, and for the first time...an expression of bewilderment would come on the man's face. He would open his mouth to say something and then close it again ...as he presses a hand against the side of his head. He would squint as though he was trying to see something beyond what was in the room, before, his muscles would go slack. Too slack as though, he was completely defeated and was coming to one forgone conclusion.

Were they about to hear classified information?

The response he gave would send a chill down both doctor's backs.

"I don't know."

So much for a complete recovery.


	8. Chapter 8

**DESPERATION**

( I have finally figure out my direction, but, now I have a new problem. Pushing forward is important, but I wonder...if this is going too slow? Maybe, I should do a time skip, or should I simply let things flow in the direction it's currently going?)

As the Sea-rabbit is knocked back into the sea...it spits something out ...as the shadow of it twirls in the air. A smile was on the face of Brook as he seems to recognize it, and moves instantly to intercept what turns out to be a mermaid falling to earth. The starfish would simply be allowed to bounce off the ship's deck, while the bone man is lay out flat by her downward crash. Though whether or not that was a much softer landing than the deck of the ship was debatable as she gets up rubbing her elbows and her stomach gently. Afterall, landing on a pile of bones doesn't come back as a nice experience, and the moment she looks into face of her rescuer gives her a frightening experience to accompany it. Even without legs, the mermaid manages to clear the area between him and the next living body in seconds as Franky smiles faintly as she hugs him. A blush was on his face as she stutters about the bone man, and Brook's happy face doesn't change as he laughs heartily.

Afterall, considering he is just bones, you can't really cut him deep.

Thus, the crew found itself on the tail of a new adventure, but one that they will have to managed without their chef.

/

"Sanji."

The name curls off of the blonde hair man's lips as he tries to adjust himself to being called that. The name itself had simply come from his medical chart. The head doctor didn't want to make his situation anymore difficult due than necessary, and since everyone else was use to calling him that. It only made sense not to change anything. He told himself as he tried to reason out his practicing with the false name, it wasn't like he had to forget another name to take this one, but, that he didn't want to have someone call him a million times before he recognize they were speaking to him.

He sighed openly.

_What to do now? _

He would tug on his shirt lightly to try and pull out the single wrinkle that was resistant to every attempt to wipe it's existence from his clothing. The young blonde walked the hallways alone. He was no longer dress in the wears of the infirm or sick, but was deck in the clothing of the Marines. It wasn't so hard to find something his size, afterall, Doctor Death, had been collecting clothing from those that had been passing on for years. Though it did make his skin crawl to think someone who had died had once wore this garment.

He had to resist scratching himself at the thought.

_Can he continue without his memories?_

He would adjust the sack on his back a bit so that it wasn't pressing so much on his right shoulder. He had been found medically fit, but, he was still going to be sore and had been instructed to take things easy. The wounds on his body had been severe from their estimation, and thus, they were shocked he was up and moving like he had. It made the Head Doctor feel better, because he wasn't there by accident. He was just ...how had the man put it ...a monster. Normal people didn't just wake up from those sort of injuries, and since, he was so energetic ...they hadn't found chores to be too taxing for him.

That made him smirk.

_He is strong._

This place didn't have a support staff, so the Doctor had to do everything themselves ..from the laundry to cooking. Thus, an extra pair of hands were never turned down, and a strict rule was enforced here. If you are well enough to complain, then you are strong enough to help out. It was a sort of therapy for those that had lost limbs to find there was still things they could do, and gave a sort of goal to those that were still in their beds. A hope that they could still find a place in the world. It was actually funny, as some of them talked about their home lives as Sanji worked at freeing their dirty bedding how much hope your past can give you. Thus, he understood why they looked at him with pity when they found out he didn't have any. Afterall, he couldn't hope to keep his disability a secret if he wanted to cure it. These soldiers were from ever place and walk of life in the Marines, so surely he had to have met one of them some where. He only needed to be present and ask.

Today had been without luck, but this place is big, and there was always tomorrow.

_He can still walk forward._

He would reach the laundry mat as he places the clothing down on the table, and was then instructed by a one eye and one leg man there to go to the kitchen. The man rested heavily on his crutch and was sweating profusely, but the smile that grace his lips at completing such a task. It was infectious in it's own way, especially considering he was from the east blue and his family worked in a paper mill. That meant, he could continue to work there, so, for him ..this wasn't the end. It was just a change in his life as he equated laundry with peeling and drying the papers after they had been pulped and thin into sheets back at home.

He still had a place in the world.

Though he was less than what Sanji was in term of body, he was more in terms of him in purpose. This alone made him better off, and all Sanji could do was hope to find someone tomorrow who knew him. Though if he couldn't ...if all his searching here was in vain, he was healthy, he was strong, and he could make himself another future and start his past here. He could create new hope ..as he arrived to the empty kitchen and piles of dishes and sighed again. It was almost a analogy of his situation. He could wash all the dishes, his situation wasn't the end of the world, but once he was done ...even if he went out and found a new life for himself ...would he truly be satisfied ...did it make him happy? The man's face at the laundry mat flash to him. A man with a purpose ...he wanted one too ...as he set to work.

He didn't need a past to remember how to do this.

_But, he had no clue ...where to go._

/

Things were definitely becoming much more interesting indeed. Especially when the mermaid Caimie mention food as their reward for saving them. Takoyaki, was the reward exactly and that should have only inspired Luffy. Though with Sanji gone ..he wasn't the only one drooling over the prospect of it as three sets of eyes would lock on her. The Starfish that was her companion was completely forgotten in that moment as Chopper licked his chops, Usopp started to tell stories about it, and Zoro stared at her with an intensity that he normally reserved for his swords. Though the moment that he notice someone watching his attention he would turn away as Nami snorts.

"My cooking wasn't so bad."

She would replies gruffly as Robin chuckles a bit.

"Your food was wonderful Navigator-san, but it's the matter of how much you charge for the meal afterwards. And considering that everyone agreed to rotation."

The two women didn't have to say anything further as they thought about the food of doom they had been experiencing up to this point. The rubbery pancakes from Franky ...those things literally would expand like Luffy with the right amount of force. Chopper's salad that somehow managed to taste like medicine. Usopp's over spice soup ...Nami's tongue still burned at the thought of it. Zoro's ...well ...it was true he was bad at directions, but no one knew that extended to following written ones as well. Add a mushroom here, somehow turned into him adding vinegar, or a dash of pepper turned into a flood of salt, and considering he was suppose to be frying bacon and eggs. Well, Zoro was officially ban from the kitchen after the first time he tried to do breakfast. Then there was Brook who because he was just bones ..meant that he could taste good food, but he couldn't taste his own cooking somehow. Luffy wasn't even a choice, he would eat anything not tied down in the kitchen. Thus, that meant that only twice had the crew had a decent meal ...Robin's sandwiches. That was the best she knew how to do in the kitchen, and after Brook's attempts ...everyone needed something solid they could keep down. Then Nami's 100 beli meal which had everyone cringing the next time that she would cook even though it was edible. It was for these reasons that the crew was so enthusiastic about their change in menu. Neither women could blame them ...as Caimie talked about needed the help of another person to create them, and quickly her conversation had taken a darker change. The voice over the den den snail made something chime in the back of Nami's mind at the sound of the voice.

She would dismiss it at the moment as she saw the fire in the eyes of the crew.

She couldn't help but feel sorry for the Fish Riders that stood between them and a decent meal.


	9. Chapter 9

**DESPERATION**

( Well, this is going to be a long one, but I can't find a way around it this time. I am getting ready to wrap this up in just a few chapters. Though I promise, I tried to shorten this...somewhat)

"This is bullshit."

Sanji would grumble as he quickly found out why the kitchen had been empty when he entered. It would seem that anyone foolish enough to play the part of dishwasher during the active times of the day would find themselves just that ...the dishwasher. It had started with one or two others coming and dumping their dishes, a pat on his back, and a thanks before they left. Sanji had understood them, one was missing an arm, and the other was on crutches. So, it had been a reasonable for them to leave him with their work. Though as he was distracted with his hands all the way up to his elbow in dish water others has used this time to place their plates on the stack and make a hasty retreat. A quick glance to retrieve a dish had almost left him in shock as he saw the stack had double.

Sanji was livid at being taken advantage of, and he was determine to make it stop.

Pretending to be hard at work on the stack of dirty dishes, half an act, and the other half his duty ...the man would keep his eye out for any new additions. He would catch them this time, and if they were able he would make them do their share of the work. That was after kicking their asses for thinking that he was the residential dish washer. It would be a good lesson, and he was grinning quite evilly at the thought of his revenge ...as he scrub one dish so hard that it was literally a mirror by the time he finished. He didn't notice then as he put the dish away that the stack of dirty dishes would practically triple, until he reached for a new one and actually screamed.

"What the fuck! This is not funny! Who the hell did this!"

His temper finally got the better of him as he would rush out the room literally kicking the door open as he thought to catch the culprit in the hallway. A move that to his own surprise was a success as he saw a man standing out in hall with two others. Their faces showed their guilt since they were had been leaning against the door before he burst through. The sweat that ran down the side of their faces was another good indicator as Sanji took a good look at them before he acted. An arrow would seem to connect his eye to the parts of their anatomy that he considered important. All three were practically healthy individuals, one was missing an eye, the other two ...seem to be burn victims with long bandages covering the wounds on their faces. They all had two arms and two legs, and with lightning speed, Sanji would add one bump each to the top of their heads. They could do their own damn dishes. His foot was the deliverer of this message as they profusely apologized afterward the blows ...bowed down on the floor before him. Something inside of him stirred.

The world shook then ...as something arc from his memories.

Somehow, this felt familiar as the fog of his memory parted slightly, but at the same time ...he felt that something was missing. It didn't move enough for him to see what, who, or even why. His mind reel, and he found himself trying to concentrate ...trying to part the fog ...as he stared at them. It was so close he felt it ...just on the tip of his mind's eye. Two people, maybe more, had done this before ..had apologize to him in this matter, and he knew than that this was the stirring of some memory of his, but he couldn't grasp it ...as an awkward silences would stray between them. The three men didn't dare move away as they sat on the floor in a pervious bow position, and looked between themselves. The blond hair man was concentrating hard on something as finally they would decide amongst themselves who would risk gaining his attention. The one eye man would finally bring the silence to a stop as he cough and then declare sharply to the Sanji.

"Hai, are you okay?"

He would wince slightly when Sanji's head would snap up and seemed to blink at him once as if he was drugged. The blonde's movements sluggish like he was waking from a dream would be the only indication that things were taking a turn for the worst. One hand would go to his head and he would rock back on his heels as he started to fall backwards and through the swinging doors. His back hitting the door hard enough that he would be sporting a bruise between his shoulder blade as he fell, and he probably would have gain more injuries if two of the three men hadn't jump to action. Their hesitation to move earlier was forgotten as the one eye man would grip Sanji by the shoulder as one of the bandaged men would grab his other to keep him from hitting the floor back first. Though despite their efforts, his weight threaten to topple them anyway as the one eye man would cry out desperately to bandaged man beside him and the one behind them.

"Sit him down, quickly. Sho, get the Doc."

The one eye man tried to help Sanji to sit, while the bandaged man that hadn't help in keeping Sanji from going through the door took off down the hallway. The remaining bandaged man would rush into the kitchen to wet a rag the moment they had Sanji on the floor. He would return to see the blonde man pressing his fingers so hard against his temples that his nails were literally digging into his skin. The one eye man beside him was trying to get him to focus on him as he kept him sitting upright.

"Get his fingers out of his head, Genji."

The bandaged man called out to the one eye one as he nods. The trail of red would only get his attention then ...as saw the damage that the blonde was doing to himself. He would grab one hand, while the bandaged man would grab the other. Genji couldn't believe their little prank had turned out like this as they held his hands down to his side, while pressing their shoulders into him to keep him from toppling over. They counted themselves lucky that the man didn't try and kick them while he was in this position as they both took that moment to look at him.

His eye was glaze over, and he had a vacant expression on his face. They both knew ...no one was home at that moment as the sound of footsteps would echo down the hallway. The Doctor would skid to a halt with a syringe in his hands. This one a russet colored brunette would skid to a halt beside Genji as he would drop beside the man and plunge the needle into Sanji's arm. They needed him to relax, and the Doc had somehow knew that from Sho's instructions. Thus, what was in the needle wasn't hard to figure out.

A sedative.

The next thing Sanji would remember would be waking up in his new room.

/

The entire flying fish rider's adventure hadn't been too bad as the group celebrated afterwards by eating the Takoyaki they had fought so hard for. Considering everything they had gone though, Usopp hadn't been able to resist the need to give them his spin on it as he started his story. The man was standing with one foot on the table and the other in the chair in a dramatic pose, something he would never had done if a certain chef was there, and was going over ever last glorious detail as everyone but Nami, Robin, Luffy, and Zoro listen intently to his story.

He almost had a full audience, so there was no way he was going to waste this chance.

"So, the great Captain Usopp storm the villainous stronghold of the evil Flying fish riders to save a former enemy ...as he shot down the aerial enemy with his cannons. Though they swarm in the millions, they drop upon the deck like ...well fish as the awesomeness of the Great Captain Usopp was more than they can stand. His mighty crew drove is vessel all the way to port, but it was here that the dastardly coward would ambush them as one of his riders launched a kamikaze attack ...damaging the ship.

This so enraged the Great Captain Usopp that he pointed his finger at the cage that house the now honorable Hachi-san and demanded his release. The lock that knew of his greatness instantly burst apart, and the chains that cover him would fracture at the sound of his voice. That is how great Captain Usopp is, that even non-moving objects recognizes his power.

His former enemy Hachi-sama was free.

And with that, the villain was left with little choice ... without his prisoner to hold against the Great Captain Usopp he would have to face him himself and ..."

It was there that the story would be interrupted as for the thousandth time, Nami would have to scream at Luffy as she tried to convince the boy that they hadn't attacked and beaten up Sanji. Zoro who couldn't at first tell the differences between the two would back her up ...with a simple statement of ...the guy was too shitty to be the cook. And, the rest of the crew would chime in as their Captain looked at them with sorrowful eyes even as he down another three Takoyaki in one gulp.

The man in question, Duvel hadn't really looked like Sanji, but like his wanted poster. This was enough for their Captain to confuse him for the real thing, which, was something that was hilarious. Though Usopp would have never laughed at him if Sanji had been there ...he like having all of his teeth in his head. Well, it had taken a minute for most of the crew to recover and by then ...Luffy was pretty much attach to the guy's arm asking for food. His defeat had come across as more of an accident than anything else ...as they tried to pry their Captain from the man with a slingshot result. The resulting crash had lay the man out flat, and they had used that as an excuse to make their break for open water. Afterall, there was only so much damage they could do to their fake crewmate without risking the wrath of their captain. Their mission had been a success, but no one can say it wasn't fun.

Usopp could only chuckle slightly.

That was their Luffy as he gave a scowl and then left the room to mope. He probably was still half convinced that the imposer had been Sanji, but, with the promise of food ...he would quickly drop it. As Usopp would look to recapture his audience while the captain had found something else to occupy his time. The Great Captain would cough once to draw their attention back to him as he gave himself time to remember. He had forgotten his place in the story, but no one could doubt his talent as he would find a new place to pick up the story.

"And, the waves would crash and the world tremble as the Great Captain Usopp would issue out his challenge to the leader of the Flying Fish Riders."

/

It would be hours later ...and Sanji would wake to see the familiar white walls and ceilings of the hospital. The soft buzzing noise in his ears as the machinery did it's work, and feeling of the covers on him. It felt like deja vu to him as he just lay there, and tried to think back to how he landed there. The same fog from before would roll over his memories, but it wasn't as dark this time ...and then a jarring pain jolt through his head as he tries to investigate that differences. His hand going up to his temple to touch bandages. Those were new, and then a voice would chime in startling him back to reality as he sits up to see two faces smiling at him and another scowling.

"What the hell?"

Sanji couldn't stop himself from exclaiming even as the hospital's alarms would scream in agreement.


	10. Chapter 10

**DESPERATION**

(The anti-climatic ending...)

The screaming of the alarms would be what got his response first as Genji would rip his eyes away from Sanji.

"Like hell if I know."

He would response to the question, but that wasn't what he meant ...as Sanji rip the covers away. His bare feet would touch the ground as he prepared to head into battle. It was all instinct, and he wasn't the only one to react to it as Genji would reach for a weapon that didn't rest by his bed and the other two men would slip from their places by the door to block it as they peer outwards. Everyone was moving into combat position, but as the announcement rang clearly though the place ...it would be for nothing.

"Stay in your rooms, do not engage the enemy ...this is an order...the shutters to the room will close to keep everyone safe. I repeat, do not leave your room, and those outside of your rooms ...go to the closest one to your destination. I will repeat, everyone is confine to quarters until this threat had been dealt with."

That announcement would force reality back to the forefront. They were no longer warriors, their bodies crippled beyond their capabilities to simply shrug off as Genji's hand would swipe empty air. His sniper rifle was gone, he would never be able to shoot with that sort of accuracy again with only one eye. His hand would gingerly touch the bandage over that part of his face. Sho and the other bandage man would stumble back a bit, their bodies were too badly wounded for them to be the shield to their sniper like they once had. The bandages suddenly felt that much tighter as they looked at each other. They would both take two small steps back into the safety of the room in equal measures. They were useless, and ...like the useless creatures they were ...they needed to stay out of the way.

This feeling would resonate through the hospital as quickly as the announcement, and those more injured or equal to them would realize the same thing. As their hands would go for weapons that no longer exist and they remembered why they weren't armed, and the announcement further pointed out to them of their new place in the world and the place they had lost. They wouldn't resist the order, and so, they rested and waited for others to protect them.

Though there was one who wasn't going to be so compliant.

"Tch, who is going to stay hidden in their own holes while we are attacked."

Sanji's voice would snap the three in his room out of their trance. Their eyes would dart to him as the man would stand up ...he was missing his shoes, but, they were by his bed and he easily slip into them. Even as the shutters that would cover the doors and windows of their room started to slide down ...Sanji would move to escape their little corner of the world.

The two bigger men ...in bandages looked at him in shock.

"You can't go .. the orders."

"Are for those that can't fight."

Sanji would snap at them.

"I got two good arms and two good legs ...I will be damn if I don't use them."

It was like a light went up in their eyes as Genji would growl back at Sanji.

"The orders ...said."

"Fuck the orders."

Sanji growled back just as quickly.

That statement alone would surprise all three. For what Marine didn't know to follow orders ...to always do what is told to them. It was their most basic of Creeds, the very differences between them and the pirates, but, Sanji just looked away from them as he slip his feet into his shoes and headed out the door. His words a slap in their faces as he pass them.

"I am a man, and no fucking man lays around and let someone else protect them when they can do it for themselves."

The tapping sound of his shoes would echo at them as he left the room. His head held high and his hands pushed into the pockets of his pants. His shoulders broad and straight spoke volumes and as they watched his back disappear as he turns a counter ... the sound of those shoes would stab into their hearts as deeply as the words he had spoken. For they were all men, and who in the hell would sit by while another one ..showed them up.

"Humph, that mush brain has a point."

Sho would tell Genji as the ex-sniper only smirked once.

"Humph, he can't remember any damn pledge to follow orders, and we can't sit by and watch him get murdered either. Marines always stick together."

It was an excuse, but it was enough as the fires in their heart and in their heads wouldn't allow them to stay behind. If they got reprimanded for this, at least, they had a good reason for why they had disobeyed orders. The door to Sanji's room would be sealed shut behind the shutter, but there would be no one within.

/

The crew was continuing forward even without Sanji. Luffy was sure ...he had told them ...that if they kept going forwards their paths would cross again. Thus, when they got to the Shabondy Archipelago ...no one thought much of their missing member. They all were resolved to continue forward ...to meet him in the New world ..for surely he would be heading there. Their determination ...to meet again ...maybe it was why when things became dangerous there was no thoughts to turn around. Maybe, that is why ...when things started to spiral out of control ...they refused to even think of leaving another friend behind. Maybe, that was why ...the command to run away came too late. Maybe, because, they were one crew member short ...things turned so desperate.

Split into three ...but the numbers were uneven ...so for him and Usopp it had been two. The damage and effort of fighting ...at less than full strength against the pacifista was clear. The damage to their party was almost complete, they couldn't take anymore. There was not a single member that had been left un-injured. Yet, the enemies kept coming ...two more ...and they were strong ...with everyone so weak.

It had all fallen apart in mere seconds.

Zoro stood against the Pacifista, his swords were drawn as blood drips down the side of his face and arms. Usopp ... lay to his side ...unconscious, and Zoro knew ...he should have been laying next to him. The beam that had hit him ...was at an Admiral's strength ...more than anything that he could handle. He had immediately become a dead weight, and, still they had tried to escape with him. He should have stayed that way ..and been lying beside Usopp even now. Though...as his nakama fell trying to protect him in this mad dash ...how could he do less. He had forced himself to stand again ...and with his last breathe he would fight, and he knew ...at that moment that is what this would be. His mind went to the stupid love cook. Where was he ...when they needed most? Though as he looked at the shoes of his opponent he remembered he had already sacrificed once ...he couldn't blame him for not being here now. Thus, it was up to him ...beaten bloody or not. If they were to meet again ...they couldn't be wiped out ...

He would take up a defensive stance ..his body couldn't do anything more.

He could take this next shot ..and then ...he would worry about what happen next.

Zoro told himself.

He is going to be the world's strongest swordsmen ...he didn't need his help damn it. He would get them through this. They would not fall apart now. They will all meet in the new world. They would meet again in the new world, and if he allowed the crew to be shattered ...before then. He could see the look in his eye, and he could imagine that little curly eyebrow dancing in his anger and frustration. Maybe, it was the blood lost that had him muttering those words ...as he tried to raise his eyes to match that of his opponent. The last flickers of determination was held within his own.

"Shitty cook."

Luffy's scream would cut across the area ...Zoro's name.

It sounded too much like the one for Sanji all those days ago as the beam power up in the hand raised to finish him off, and suddenly it disappeared as the creature was taken down by his own double. A Pacifista vs. a pacifista, but ...Zoro easily saw the differences as the two separated after the initial collusion. Kuma! That one was no double, but the real thing. He was the one who started this horror in the first place, the man who had split their crew once before ...as Kuma put down his double in no time flat and turn his attention towards them.

There was nothing more he could do.

"Where do you want to go?"

His mind snap back to reality as he heard those words, and then ...he was gone.

/

"Duck, Sanji."

A voice called him just in time as the man would sweep low ...as he did a leg sweep instead of the spinning routine he had used to clear the area just moments before. The pirate that had pulled his pistol only moments before, head would snap back ...as the plate would hit hard against it ..smashing and breaking against his skull. The man would slump in the entries way to the hall way ...as Sanji turned that leg sweep into a powerhouse upper kick ...catching an opportunist hard against his chin. The man's feet would clear the ground as he was literally face planted into the ceiling as Sanji never stop his movements for one moment. His hands holding his body straight upwards after that leg sweep had turned into a powerhouse upper kick, and now ...as he went rigid, a handstand to allow .. two men to rush past him in that tight space. A sword would catch one pirate in the gut, while a hard club would catch the other one in the chin. Both men knew by now to draw back as quickly as possible after their rush ...as they made it point never to close the gap between them. A weakness most ...saw as the pirates push forwards, but those that did would be great with the floor ...as Sanji dove through the area between them ...to send forth a flurry of kicks that would further clear more space before them.

It was in this way that the three men ...that had disobeyed orders were now holding the southern corridor alone. The Doctor ..one of four that had guarded the place ...now lay behind Genji in the hallway. It had all happen so quickly as they rounded the corner to find that the strong hold had been sieged by pirates that had used the furious storm outside as a cover. The russet hair doctor ...a man who was a master of needles had been fighting valiantly then ...as he threw them out with a accuracy that could have made Genji jealous of him ...when he had both eyes to see with.

But, a Sniper was never meant to be on the front lines, and with the pirates having gotten so far in before they were notices ...he was cut off from support. A single rush of all of their forces has ...put him down ...a deep gun shot wound in his belly ...as they had come to his aid a few moments too late.

His life now depended on their ability to get to the front. The hospital itself was broken into four different sections ...the main lobby ...was the gateway to the hospital, and then after that...it went towards emergency (waiting patients), surgery (patients being worked on), recovery (Healing patients), and finally ...the mortuary (dead ones). There was one doctor to man each one, and with their ranks being that of at least a Captain ...they can generally take care of themselves. Then again, they normally fought together in the lobby area, never letting their opponent get so close. Though this time, they had been taken off guard, and the four fought on their own separate grounds. It was the russet haired doctor that was in charge of their wing, and it was him that was down and in need of a doctor's aid.

Sanji never said tolda ya so ...as the thought of how this could have ended if he hadn't been there. IF he hadn't told them to go out ...despite the order, and Genji shivered at the thought of the massacre that would have taken place. The corridors were tight and narrow, at most three men could pass at one time. But, beyond the corridor ...they could have spread out like an ocean it was that many men that they were fighting. The injured behind the shutters would have been dragged out and easily killed, and his little group wouldn't have had a hope of a prayer ...if they hadn't caught them in this tight hallway.

"Damn it, get your head in the game."

Sanji shouted as the gun shot miss him by inches. The bullet smashing into the wall next to his hair as blonde dance backwards. The first time they had lost ground since this had started. The pirates were trying a firing range again, they had tried it more than once, but every time they thought to simply gain some distances and fire into the corridor until the three men were down ...Genji had made them think differently. The man was a sniper, and though his range was much more lackluster than normal ...with the help of the Gun ..Gun ..fruit ...he could turn anything into a bullet to fire. And, not only was he a better shot than this raggedy group, but he was faster too.

The string of items that collided with those that tried to shoot ...would make someone arch a eyebrow, a plate, a mop, a gun hilt, and finally ...a fallen pirate himself. Genji was collecting ammunition as they walked ...from those that fall and from things left lying around.

It was a long haul, but eventually ...it would all come to an end ...as the rear group would scream in pain and rage. The head Surgeon was the exception to the rule in term of rank, the man was the leader of the hospital and a Admiral in his own regards. The only reason the fight had lasted so long had been sure numbers alone ...as he finally managed to clear the rear and the front would quickly follow thanks to Sanji.

It was all over ...and they ...who had begun to forget that they still had a purpose were considered to be heroes. It was over ...and with the Pirates captured and put into prison for three days ...it seemed that was the end of their adventure. Yet, it would seem they hadn't just come to the hospital by accident ...they were being chased, and there was no better strong hold than one ...that could only be access by the sea. It was why they had attacked, and why ...three day later a marine ship had come to port.

The man marveled at what they had done, and once they had discovered that Sanji could cook as well. Everyone at this point figured, he must have been a master chef, and someone whom rarely saw the front lines of battle ...the reason no on recognized him ...was recruited again to the life at Sea. Though at the time, Genji had thought he would be saying goodbye to his friend ...somehow they had managed to be recruited with him to go to Marineford.

"Nakama..."

Sanji had said at that time.

"...don't leave Nakama behind."

It was why they were there with him ...on the day ...that the newspaper came, and for some strange reason ...Sanji had cried. He couldn't explain the tears himself, because a man doesn't cry. But, something had made him sad ...about the article

"The Strawhat pirates had been destroyed."

**Desperation -THE END.**

**(I want to thank everyone who review, favorite, and follow. Thanks to you, I managed to get this to completion. So, thank you ...thank you very much for your support ...it was SUPEERRRRRR)**


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